Well, its been a long time since The Shooter was in action, I know you have missed it.
In life you get distracted, things you don't necessarily see happening do happen and your priorities change from time to time.
In 2024, this happened. The Shooter got preoccupied with things other than golf and at one stage had 3 or maybe 4 jobs. Doesn't leave a lot of time for golf, however, it did gave me more time to be the champion of the people, its my cross to bear.
The start of the 2024 year requires a trip to Q School, I think everyone should go if you can get a ranking jump. Shooter was hitting the ball nicely, well inside the 25 number, the last day on hole 11 at Sandhurst Champions course, a nice looking par 3 over a valley, the old demons reared their ugly heads. I hate old demons.
Hit a fat 9 iron that catches the front of the green, a little spin and before I know it I am 20 meters off the front edge.
Flub that one a foot, knife the next over the green, smash shaft of sand iron, unzip the side pocket, slowly put it in my bag. From the back of the green out of extremely thick grass, another flub then a little knife to 50 foot and a frustrating 3 putt to finish me off completely with an 8.
Subsequently, the head fell off and was kicked to the next tee, I knew I should have locked it in the car before going out. Frustration bogies were then had for the last few holes to miss a Q School number by 2, what a cock up.
What a start to the year.
The first event for The Shooter was Fiji in June and I rounded it our nicely with 73, it was the 79, 82 before hand that was the problem, no cash by 3 there.
The next event scheduled for The Shooter was Lakelands in November, fuck me, a long time between drinks.
Day one starts great, 16th hole, Shooter rifles a 4 iron from 207 into 15 feet, the 2 putt birdie is a great start to the 2nd event of the year. My playing partner says, Great to have you back Shoot !!!!!
18th tee, high fade finds the piss, a casual drop and some bad judgement of a side hill lie out of the rough from 219 means I found the piss again.
Why wouldn't I be able to pull that shot off out of rough from the side of a bunker. Cock !
A neat little 3 wiggle to round out a 9, wonder why I haven't played the tour all year ?
Fuck me. Now its a fucking grind, but no one can grind like The Shooter. 4 over after 3.
The ball striking is a little rusty but has some shades of brilliance, birdies on 4 and 7 peg back some of the damage, crowds are starting to form as the word has gotten around that The Shooter is making headway. -2 for the front 9. It feels like we are going to set this place on fucking fire. We currently sit at 2 over through 12.
10th tee, its not a party hole but fuck me if I cant hear eye of the tiger playing, Shooter hits a slight pull into the piss, fuck me, that will slow the momentum. Feathers, who is now on the bag, reaches in a pulls out another pro v.
Another slight pull, that one lands within a dick length of the first one.
Feathers is the call, out comes another one.
The level of confidence from Feathers is now at an all time high, the third ball he throws is an old one, looks like we are done with new balls for the day. Another pull, at least the third one lands on the bank above the hazard before it is never to be seen again. Nice money saving technique Feathers, like your style.
Drop the 4th one on the bank, Feathers now gets another new one, we are back on track. Side hill 45 degree slope, of course I can run a punch 7 iron up onto the front edge you dickhead, I am The Shooter after all.
I would have to make clean contact though, not the fucking chunky 2 inches behind it mess that occurred. That one hardly made a splash at all, one pathetic bounce on the grass before a disappointing plop into the murky depths. It was like the sound the last drop of piss makes when you shake it out so you don't piss your pants. So sad.
Another ball, punch this one into the bunker, make a nice move at the bunker shot but the 8 footer never looked like it was within a foot. 12.
Pretty sure I haven't had a 12 on tour ever, I'm sure I have had one before but never on tour, fucks sake, there goes this round and this tournament.
4 in the piss on 10 and 2 in the piss on 18 ! No wonder I get a Christmas card from Titleist very year.
Now I'm fucked, got 5 to play and just had a 12, WTF am I still doing here, a fleeting thought of pulling a heart muscle, or a calf, cutting off my finger or getting bitten by a snake crossed my mind but like the true champion he is Shooter continues, casts aside all negative thought and walks up onto the next tee full of life.
Until a massive smother that Jon Benet would have been proud of goes 150 yards into a fairway trap. The spark of life is leaving me very quickly, after I kick the driver back to the bag, Feathers says that we are still bogey free, as he says it he turns into the wind and shakes his head Fabio style, what a fucking peacock.
Now the mission is to finish with no bogies, par 11, pump one down 12 and knife a 54 onto the back edge, 2 putt from 70 feet, fuck me that was good.
Toe hook into the fairway trap on 13, nice stuff, 6 iron to 12 feet, fuck yeah that's a golf shot, crowds are forming again, murmurs are heard through the trees.
Almost hole a 54 on 14, leave it 4 feet above the hole. I've now seen the worst place to leave a shot on this hole, the 4 footer turned 2 feet and was faster than Feathers reaching for some hair mousse. Lucky to make the 6 footer back. Still bogey free.
Last hole, 15th, hit a high neck with the driver, just like they do on tv to set up my approach to the green, my playing partners tell me I should find it, I'm not so sure.
They were right, long grass, 142 over trees to a green sloping away, almost an impossible shot. A lesser man would have buckled under the pressure to get this done.
Time is in slow motion, I look at Feathers, he is giving me the Leighton Hewitt C'mon, the contact is supreme, the flight is perfect, high and on line. Obviously I am holding the finish position, cameras are clicking and Feathers has taken off and is now high fiving the crowd and my playing partners, calm down mate.
Casual 2 putt for a bogey free 82, not sure how many players can say they have been able to do that. Its not easy thing to do, but as we all know if something is hard send in The Shooter.
Day 2 started badly with a double bogey on the first hole of the day (3rd) and by the 2nd tee there was sweat rolling into my eyes, its 7:30 in the fucking morning, why is it so fucking hot here. Couple of birdies to get some credibility back on 6 and 7 but the fucking 10th claimed another ball but this time I made a double rather than a 12.
Faded with another double 18 again for fucks sake but I did birdie the last hole of the day to take some credit into the next event.
The take away from this is tournament golf is hard, its not like Saturday comp and its fucking hot up here this time of the year.
4 events to go until 2024 comes to an end, in this heat I may not make it.
Short of a run Shooter out.
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